I Just Might Be Ugly.
Social media has a way of making you feel ugly. Don't you agree? Like, the things that you might have been taught about loving yourself or seeing yourself as beautiful no longer applies. It is depleted in an instant. Just one ounce of imperfection shown on social media and people go innnnn! Pointing out all your flaws and all. Even those closet to you may say something and view it as a way of helping you out but instead they don't see the effects that it may have on your internally based on the way that they say it. It actually has a way of magnifying the imperfections that you have.
I recently was featured in my first music video and there is one scene in the video where my eye looked so lazy. I cringe every time I viewed the video. All I can think about was how unattractive it was. How am I trying to be viewed as attractive in the video but my eyes are spazing out right in front of my face and all the viewers watching it?
I instantly became insecure. I felt like I was not going to be able to take pictures anymore. I was not going to be able to pursue modeling. I would not be viewed as beautiful. I mean it really started to bother me so much that when someone was talking to me I would look to the side and turn my head because I felt like they were going to stare at the fact that my eye was lazy.
But then, I realized. I am beautiful. Lazy eye and all! I am beautiful! And even if my eye gets lazier or drooper, I am still beautiful. I realized that I will never be this picture perfect person. Everything that everyone else wants to see is not the reality that is really seen. This is not only with my physical appearance but this goes with my personality, my attitude, m beliefs and dreams, and the way that I life my life. I am me, whether that is seen as perfection or imperfection.
Truly I realized that if I was this perfect person that had no flaws how would I ever be able to impact God’s people like He intended for me to do. I can relate in my imperfection. I can cry with another women who looks at them self as less than. I can truly be me without the pressure or the unrealistic expectations. I came to the conclusions that people can love me flaws and all or don't love me at all. This pertains to my outer beauty but also the beauty within me. This includes my thoughts, ideas, opinions and truths. I am me.
You are YOU too! Society and even the people closet to you will tell you that you must be a certain way but always remember that what you feel in your heart is what truly will shine among the societal clutter.
XOXO, Ericka Warnita