Compromise Myself

Not many people know this but at some points of my career modeling I have gotten many messages and offers from people who want me to model or play a part in their film but I turn them down. Most people would look at me and say, "Girl you must have lost your mind! That is money! Just because you are wearing no clothes in that photoshoot or you are cursing in that scene does not make you who are you." That is what they all say but when I see things like people bashing someone as beautiful as Meagan Good just because of her past roles, I will just look at you with stupidity because people will be people. Let’s just be honest.

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If you followed my Miss Houston journey, you would know that I decided to sacrifice not wearing a bikini to show others that you are more than just your body. You are a human being with beauty inside that radiants far greater than your beauty on the outside. Let me say this, I love people embracing their bodies. Love your curves girl, hug them and embrace them baby! Don't get me wrong I love the confidence I see in women. However,  as a woman who has always had a small frame that was considered on many peoples radars as attractive or has the potential to be attractive, I never felt the need to show my body. The only time I did was when I was in college. Truth be told, I honestly lost my dignity going to the club just to get a quick fix of attention because my body was banging or qualified as being “bangable” because I wore clothes that were not clothes at all. I might as well went to the club with no clothes on. Let’s just be honest. But, nonetheless, I would always go back home to my little apartment unfulfilled and felt less desirable. Lawd, if y'all could see my pictures from my college days! Smh!

I always remember my mom telling me to never compromise myself.  I used to get so annoyed when my mom would tell me to go back upstairs and put on some different shorts or clothes growing up. Lol oh geez, my teenage years were not the easiest. That’s when all the little mood swings started to kick in.

To this day, when I look at pictures from my younger days I see all these girls in short booty shorts and me with the long shorts or dress that hung off of my little frame which forced me to stand out from everyone. Little did I know that it helped shape my mindset in knowing that I was more than my body. How grateful I am for my Mami.

I remember once I started dating guys, I would tell myself all the time that I was more than my body and I desired a relationship where a man didn’t merely look at my outward appearance but saw me for the woman inside. Any young girl or woman out there struggling with you body image please know that you are more than just your body. There is so much beauty that is inside of you that is waiting to be discovered by yourself and others around you that can appreciate you for you and not based on your physical appearance. It might have taken a lot of guts for some of those girl on the pageant stage to wear a bikini in-front of everyone but it took a lot of guts for me to stand out in a one piece and still walk in confidence regardless if I looked different than majority of the girls.

You are beautiful just the way you are. Small, tall, curvious, petite, short, dimples and stretch marks and all the above. You are beautiful. 

XOXO, Ericka Warnita

 

Ericka Warnita3 Comments